Don't Bang on the Glass...

Yesterday I had the most amazing privilege! I went to the Calgary Zoo with my beloved sister for the first time in my young adult-hood. It was amazing, I saw all kinds of amazing creatures that God created. From penguins, to bison, to black bears, to monkeys, and lots of animals in between.

It was crazy busy there since all the school tours were there. But kids and adults alike don’t really know how to handle a zoo. Some adults are really good with the children under their care when at the zoo, but others just let the children run wild…

When my sister and I made our way by the exhibits we came to the elk paddock. There was a total of three in the paddock that we could see. The poor elk were so upset as people were sticking their fingers in the cage and pushing their faces up toward the fence and talking to the elk and almost taunting them. The one elk was so upset, that it started to almost charge at the fence and then stopped as it couldn’t get to them fully since there are safety measures that the zoo has put on the fences.

We then went to the black bear enclosure. There were three bears; what looked to be a mother and two cubs. The one cub didn’t seem to really care about the people and so, it just stayed on the rocks and slept. But the other cub; the poor thing was so upset and stressed. When we walked a bit closer to the enclosure we could see why this little one was so upset. There were little kids banging on the glass to try and have the bear look at them, and the adults that were with them said nothing to stop it.

I couldn’t find a specific verse for it, but throughout the bible, God tells us to take care of the animals He has made. That means treating them with love and respect.

Despite this all, I hope that when you next visit a zoo, or any other place that animals are, that you can enjoy it as I did. That you can be present in the moment, and fully experience the joys of God’s creation.

And don’t bang on the glass. :P

Systematic Desensitization…

Systematic Desensitization is a technique used all over the world for people facing anxieties. The point of S.D. is to help you so that you will be a lot less nervous of something and in time have no fear towards it at all. S.D. is a great technique to use if you are facing paralyzing fear, or you have gone through a really traumatic event, I.E. an allergic reaction, a car accident, etc…    

On Thursday the 15th I saw my counsellor Jody Bekhuys (M.Ed, R.C.C.), and she is really great. Jody said that I have been doing really well since what happened to me last Friday, and so Jody told me about Systematic Desensitization. She said that it would be a really good idea if I went back to the Nester’s Market where I got the sunflower seeds from, because if I didn’t then I probably I would never go back into one of those stores.

Jody told me to take it slow, and if I needed, only go to the parking lot the first time. And if I could go inside great but if it’s too much, then just the parking lot is good. Then I would work my way up from there to being in the store and walking around, to actually buying something.

Well for everyone who knows me, they know that I don’t always do things slow… So, on the 16th I got in the van and went to Nester’s Market. I was a little nervous at first when I was driving there, and when I was parking and first walking into the store. It got better as I was in the store but I could feel the lump in my throat… But I wanted to stay on task and not be defeated… And thanks to my cousin I had Philippians 4:13 in my head the whole time. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

So, after saying the verse in my head a few times I went straight to the bakery and got two 8-pack cases of peanut-free donuts, I then walked down a few lanes.

And I even looked to see where the sunflower seeds were. I then walked to the till paid for my donuts and left the store. In total, I was probably in there for about 15 minutes but it was a great start. And I walked away feeling successful knowing that I will overcome this fear from my reaction, and I will be good; and will be able to enjoy life again the way I did before with little amounts of fear…

If you want to learn more about Systematic Desensitization I have attached a few helpful links to two different websites where you can read up on it:

https://www.simplypsychology.org/Systematic-Desensitisation.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systematic_desensitization

Eating Out with Food Allergies… The Do’s and Don’ts…

Lots of people struggle with this topic, and I know a lot of people who can’t or won’t eat out because of their food allergies. And I think that is a real shame, because there is something so nice about having someone else make you dinner (not to mention have someone else do the dishes), and it's really nice for once in a while to go out with your friends, family, or your special someone…

So, with my sister’s suggestion, I am writing this blog post all about how to stay safe when eating out…

Do: Know when and where you are going out. Give yourself lots of time to make a trip out to the restaurant to talk with the manager and have them go over the food menu with you. Maybe even talk to the chef and tell them your food allergies, have the chef or manager explain to you how they prepare and cook the food. Maybe you have a fish allergy, but the restaurant cooks everything in the same oil as the fish.

This step is one good thing to do to make sure you are safe when eating out, and if you do go and talk to the chef he or she might tell you that it would be safer for you to eat out some where else…

Don’t: I was once invited to a resterant by a friend, I did not do my due diligence beforehand. And when I got there I spent proably an hour and a half to two hours just looking throught the menu reading to see what food would be safe for me; and after all that time I finally found something on the menu that didn’t have contact with peanuts. So, I ordered French fries… So, don’t make my mistake, plan ahead and do what you can to make sure you are safe.

Do: If you can’t make it out to the restaurant before you go then another great thing to do is google the restaurant. Many restaurants have websites with allergy lists, and if you can’t find an allergy list on their website Google the menu item because often you will be able to find the ingredient lists somewhere else on the internet. You may also find links on their blogs or through other customer's reviews.

(Sorce https://www.wendys.com/en-us/allergen-information )

Restaurants like Wendy's that have such great allergy information on their website -- for example if you are allergic to fish you should not eat chicken nuggets at Wendy's only because they might be cooked in the same oil as their fish products.

(Sorce https://www.wendys.com/en-us/allergen-information )

And if you are allergic to eggs, fish, milk, and wheat then you should not have a Caesar Side Salad with Caesar Dressing at Wendy's.

And if the allergy menu isn’t something you want to completely rely on then you can Google and find sites like this one with an actual ingredient list like you would find on packaged products (the one below is the ingredient list for Wendy's Small Chocolate Classic Frosty):

(Sorce for picture http://www.fooducate.com/app#!page=product&id=138776FC-28C7-11E2-A40C-1231381A0463 )

I have just used Wendy’s as a reference but you can look at other restaurant websites for the information on their menu items. 

A shout-out to Wendy's ... Thank you so much to Wendy's for caring for people with allergies! It makes life so much easier to have peace of mind to know that your food is safe for me to eat. To everyone reading this... If you have not tried a Wendy's Small Chocolate Classic Frosty before then you have to try one today... They are AMAZING! 

I hope all this info is helpful and it helps to keep you safe at your favourite restaurants...

From Zero to Life Threatening in 30 Minutes...

When I was born my parents didn’t know I had food allergies. One day when I was 10 months old, my brother and sister had left a crust of peanut butter toast on a little table where I could reach it… my mum said all I did was touch it to my lip and that was it, I was in a full-blown anaphylaxis reaction…

Fast forward a few years later… I was 3 and my family and I were going up to Big White for a day of skiing and enjoying the sun. My parents now knew that I had anaphylaxis to peanuts but they didn’t know about any other allergies…

It was a rush to get out of the house on time to go skiing. And we didn’t have time for breakfast, so my mum brought us crackers and hummus to eat on the way there… but what my parents didn’t know is that I was allergic to chickpeas and that chickpeas were in hummus. I started to feel sick so I told my mum. She thought it was remnants from my cold so she suggested I lie back in my seat, close my eyes, and try to rest. When we got out of our van at the ski hill I was feeling sick and my hands were itchy. I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling so I just told them that my hands hurt.

Mum looked at my hands but couldn’t see any signs of a cause for the pain and discomfort. We got our ski gear on and made our way to the lift. We rode up the lift but I was feeling worse and worse. At the top, I said I wasn’t feeling well. In not knowing, my dad just thought I was being difficult because I didn’t want to ski so we did our first run. I cried all the way up the chair lift the second time. Once we exited the lift we started skiing again but I just fell over backward in the snow. My dad figured for certain that I was now displaying a temper tantrum but my mum was starting to get suspicious as I didn’t usually throw temper tantrums.

So, dad continued skiing with my brother and sister, and my mum and I went back to the van so she could take a look at me. I cried the whole way there. Mum knew something wasn’t right.

Thankfully we had parked in the village so we were close to our van.  Mum opened the van sliding door and set me on the passenger seat. She lifted my goggles and took off my helmet. She was shocked to see that my face was so swollen my top lip extended past my nose!  I kept saying my hands hurt so mum took off my tiny mittens to see my hands were red, swollen and had hives all over the palms of each hand.

She knew we needed help from one of the ski patrollers so Mum carried me into the lodge to seek help. As we started up the stairs a ski patroller was coming down. Mum stopped him and told him we needed emergency care and was there a doctor on site. He directed us upstairs while he radioed to the doctor on-call at the mountain. The doctor wasn’t responding but he continued to try to contact him. We walked upstairs into the main lobby of the lodge and just as we were about to head outside God had two nurses walk into the ski hut when I needed help most. It was so bright outside I actually thought they were angels. The patroller told the nurses about my anaphylaxis so they ushered us into the nearby shop. The shop manager got me a chair and I sat just waiting. At this time, the nurses helped give me some Benadryl, my epi-pen and said that we needed to get to the hospital right away. We didn’t have a cell phone so my mum couldn’t get in contact with my dad. But God is so good!  He made it so that my sister and brother had to go to the bathroom and they walked in the doors and when they were heading to the bathroom they saw us. My parents drove so fast that day, but God had His hand on our van the whole time. When we got to the hospital the doctors helped me right away, and they took my parents aside and told them “if you would have been 10 minutes later, your daughter would have died.”

That day haunted me for so long and it added to all my anxieties. When I finally found the counselor (that I am still with today), she really helped me get through this really scary experience. She performed a type of treatment on me called EMDR, where I was wearing a pair of headphones and she would talk me through what was going on while she controlled sound volume and beeps. It really helped me, and now it doesn’t bother me anymore and I can talk about it…

Fast forward a few more years… I had been really sick and needed antibiotics. I had been on a total of three rounds of penicillin. I was helping my mum make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. And like any other kid I was rolling the cookies and eating the dough. But we didn’t know that I was now allergic to oatmeal. I had a mild reaction to the oatmeal but we didn’t realize that’s why I was feeling sick. We made oatmeal cookies on two more occasions but my worse reaction was the last time. But God was with me through it all and protected me. I never ended up needing an EpiPen because God protected me through it all…

 

Fast forward to June 9^th 2017…

The day started out like any other, I got up at a bit of a later time knowing that I had to work an evening shift that day. We had no food in the house (and when I say no food, I mean no deli meat, no fruit, and no veggies). So, I couldn’t make my lunch for work never mind having anything to eat for breakfast. My mum and I wanted to get rid of some things at the recycling center, and Value Village. So, we decided to do that first before going to the store.

We filled up the van with all our stuff and away we went… After we finished at the recycling center and Value Village, we decided to go and check out a new Nesters Market, that had opened up close to our house.

The store was really nice, new, and clean inside. I was so excited because we found peanut free donuts, peanut free cashews, peanut free pecans, and nut-free sunflower seeds.  

When we got home I was so excited about eating a donut, (since I had not had one in years), I tried one and it was so good! I then tried a cashew, and then I went for the sunflower seeds. I took two out of the bag and put them in my mouth to chew them. My tongue started feeling itchy and hurting… I was having an allergic reaction!

It had been over 5 years since my last reaction and over 18 years since I had to have my last epi-pen.

I am so thankful to God that I had my mum at home with me to help me. I took 10 mls of Benadryl, we got in the van, and off we went to the hospital. On the way, I asked Mum if she could drive a bit faster since I was feeling so bad. My throat was swelling, and my mouth and throat were sore. I could still breath and swallow but it hurt. I felt dizzy and sick.

When we got to the hospital, God had saved a parking spot right out front for us, so that my mum wouldn’t have to leave me and drive around looking for one. Once we were parked and she paid we went into the hospital. Once again God is so good, there were only two people in front of me, but it felt like they were talking to the nurse forever. And then she called me, it was my turn. I sat down in a chair with tears in my eyes, and my mum did all the talking. The nurse took my vitals and told me to take another 10 mls of Benadryl. We then had to go to the receptionist to sign in; she then told us to sit and wait and it wouldn’t be long.

I was feeling worse and worse. I asked Mum to get me something in case I would throw up. I started throwing up and my mum said “can I get some help?” in a panicked voice. The nurse who had taken my vitals came and took me to a bed. When I sat on the bed the doctor came and saw me, he said to give me an EpiPen right away.  Another nurse asked if I was left handed or right. He then came on my left and counted and put in an injection of epinephrine, he told me that it would make my heart race and make me feel hyped up. Then they gave me a pill of Ativan to help me with my anxieties and gave me another dose of Benadryl. The nurses were so nice to me, they kept asking if I was ok, they got me a warm blanket, and at one point I had three different people watching me to make sure I was ok.

The doctor who was in charge of my care happened to walk by. He was quite concerned about me asked if I was ok. I told him I was feeling really sick and that my arms were itchy. I showed him the rash that had started on both my wrists. He said that my face and neck were red, much redder than they had been. He said that he wanted me to get an IV put in so I could get an injection of steroids, and he wanted to monitor my heart. He said that I was having a rebound (biphasic) reaction.

The doctor had everything ready, and before I knew it I had three nurses helping me. One of the nurses put in my IV, I looked away and the nurse counted. Once the IV needle was in my vein, the nurse injected the steroid into the needless access port. They then took me to the trauma room where they could hook me up to a heart monitor.

The nurse caring for me was so nice and the trauma room I was in was really nice. The nurse had left and walked around a bit and said that if I needed any help, or if anything changed then to press a button and someone would come and help.

I was now so tired from the stress of the reaction and all the drugs that were in my body. I asked my mum to read me some Psalms. Her voice was so calming as she read, and I thought; now I know what Bethany felt like, a character in the book “Tears to Dancing” by Laura Thomas.

I was then moved to another room since they needed the trauma room for a car accident victim. I was moved to a nice smaller room. I just rested in bed, and the nurse had turned off the lights for me so I could close my eyes, and Mum continued to read to me from the book of Psalms. I knew the whole time that the Lord was with me and that He wasn’t calling me home yet.

(June 9th, 2017)

After a little bit, longer the doctor came back to check up on me, and he said he was pleased with how I was doing and that it was safe to send me home. He told my mum what to do in case I would have another rebound. But by the grace of God, I didn’t! I was so tired after all of that, and for being in the hospital for over 4 hours and because of all the drugs in my system.

That evening I was so nervous that something would happen again; that I would have another reaction. And now I have been really nervous about having another reaction; so I have been really careful with my food. But when I was in the hospital I know I was where I needed to be and where I would get help. I also had Jeremiah 29:11 in my head the whole time I was in the hospital.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. NIV

Even now as I am writing this it is hard for me.  But I know that it will help me to work through it and if by someone reading this they can better understand what their brother, or sister, of mother, or father, or child is going through with having allergies and having allergic reactions. Then it is worth it for me to write this blog post.

Even now a few days later it is still bothering me, but my hope is that you will be able to see the good that God is doing in your life and that you will be able to press into Him and trust Him with your life… And that you will truly become A Few Steps Closer to Him.

About Me...

Hi my name is Stephanie. I have been a girl of God all my life, I have gone through a lot of hard stuff in my life but through it all, I have grown even closer to God. That’s why I wanted to call my blog A Few Steps Closer, meaning, hopefully, my blog will encourage you and you will grow in your faith and draw closer to the Lord with every blog post you read.

Here’s a little bit of my background. I was born and raised in Beautiful British Columbia, Canada. And at an early age, my parents knew something was going on for me, but they didn’t know what and they didn’t know how to help me. So, by the recommendation of a doctor they got some testing done on me, and a few tests later, and they found out that I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Dyslexia, and anxieties. But on top of that, I had anaphylaxis to peanuts, chickpeas, and soy. I was told by a doctor to stay away from anything that was in the same family as peanuts, including beans and peas.

Life was hard as a child, I didn’t understand about God even though my parents raised me with the faith and love of the Lord. But life was hard for me, I was scared of everything. By age 6 my anxieties were so bad I stopped eating altogether, I wouldn’t swallow my own saliva, and I always thought something was wrong with me. I was scared to die and didn’t want to die, but I was also scared to live.

After going through quite a few counselors, I finally was put on a med called Zoloft. It took awhile for the med to work, 6 weeks or so, but once it was working I wasn’t as scared anymore, I could eat. But now I faced a bigger problem, I wasn’t scared of food so I gained a lot of weight. At the age of 13, I was 5’7 and weighed over 190lbs. My self-esteem was really low, and I was going through hard times in school with not being able to read or write like other people I knew.

My mother had homeschooled me since the age of 5 so it was hard to make any friends even though she took me to all the homeschooling get-togethers, and arranged play dates for me with other kids but when it came down to it no one wanted to be my friend because of my OCD, Dyslexia, anxieties, and food allergies.

Fast forward a few years, and the doctor told me I didn’t need to be on meds anymore. So, he took me off them, and a year later when I still couldn’t lose weight my doctor blamed me for eating too much candy… but that was far from the truth.

At the age of 15 I was invited to go horseback riding for the first time… I loved it and felt so free on the back of a horse. The Lord had led me to something that helped me relax in my crazy, nervous life. I also found joy and peace in music. And started learning to play the violin. I also found great joy in playing old video games I grew up with like Tomb Raider, Crash Bandicoot, and others.

To this day I still play my violin, and have added piano into the mix. And I love books! But sadly, due to not having enough time in my day, and it taking over 45 minutes to get to the barn, I have not been able to ride horses for over a year now. I still enjoy playing video games and have to balance it all with work. I still really hope and pray that the Lord has horses planned in my future but if He doesn’t, then He will have something better intended for me…

I hope to some day travel the world, meet a man of God, get married and have kids, but the Lord knows what’s best for me. And I know my life is in His hands!

I hope that by reading a bit about me and my past, you will find hope and encouragement in your daily struggles, and I hope you can grow A Few Steps Closer to the Lord.